It’s been a crazy few weeks. Busy with life, adult children doing their adult things, friends in crisis, summer rain and hail and more rain and hail. And just as discombobulated as the weather has been and parenting adult children can be, my spirit feels that way, too. I am all over the map for some reason. Trying to study Isaiah, while prepping/writing a study on grace with two amazing gals from my church, while prepping the fall studies and women’s events, to doing a study on prayer and one on the names of God. Yep a bit all over the place. So it shouldn’t surprise me that what I feel God speaking to me is all over the place. Live in my grace. Don’t strive, but learn to abide in me. Practice that abiding; oh, and serve others, too. And spend time with me….. Back and forth in this serve and do, but be still and just abide. It’s a like spiritual yo-yo in my life that swings from this to that while I’m trying to make sense of the path the string is following.

Yesterday and then this morning in Bible study, I feel like all the wild thoughts finally are beginning to connect and make sense. At least in my head. Yesterday, me and a few ladies from my church spent the day serving and learning about the homeless and the vulnerable in our city. My heart broke (as a wanna-be missionary). I wanted to quit my job, sell my house, and find ways to help these people who just need someone to give them a hand up. My heart is screaming, “I can do that! I can help refugees in our city. I can be their friend, their support, their contact to our world.” Then 20 minutes later, “I can help these women who are experiencing homelessness. I can be their house mentor,” Then an hour later, “Oh, I should text this friend, or pray for the new gal in Bible study…” (My mind still all over the place, trying to figure out how to serve, how to make an impact in this world, in my church, in my city to do something for God.)

Clarity came at the strangest place — a dumpster. Yep actually two of them. A pair of smelly, gross, graffitied green dumpsters. And then more clarity from John 13 in my Bible study this morning.

Part of our day serving the homeless was a prayer walk. It was the best part of the day for me. As we walked with the guide, we came to these two dumpsters, and he said this is one of his favorite spots in the city. On one side of an ally there was a fence with this strange tree, and on the other side there were the two dumpsters. He was a character and I just thought sure this is your favorite place. He went on to ask us about the graffiti, what we saw and thought. He then pointed out that those are all people – either names, nicknames or titles of people who just want to be noticed. They want people to see their name, their sign or symbol. Then he says that they take pride in “tagging” something and bragging to their friends about it. Here comes the profound part. Jesus knows their names – their real name and their street name. He knows the number of hairs on their heads and all about them. He then goes on to say Jesus is a type of “tagger” but in a different way. Like in the game of tag, when you get tagged you are it then you have to go tag someone else. If you are a Christ follower Jesus tags you with the Holy Spirit. The Bible says you are marked (Eph, 1:13) by God with His Spirit or like the NIRV says, “The Spirit marks us as God’s own.” And because we are marked by God, we are then called by God to go and share the good news of the Gospel with others so the Holy Spirit can mark them, too. Then the man leading the prayer walk asks us to pray for those represented on the dumpster and for those of us who have been “tagged” by God. We prayed. He then turns and looks at this tree which was behind us. He says, “Do you think those pink things are flowers? I used to think they were flowers, but then I learned they are seeds. Seeds help spread the plant, making more plants like this one.” He turns to walk to our next stop and says, “How many seeds does one tree need anyway…” Do you get it? We who are believers are loaded with the seeds of God’s love, we will always have seeds of grace, love, and mercy to spread if we abide in Him.

Now fast forward from a long day of outreach to this morning, in my house, a cup of coffee and my bible. John 13-17 is the scripture for this week. I get all the way to John 13:4 (supposed to read all 4 chapters, and I get stuck 4 verses in.) “So He gets up from the meal and lays aside His outer garment; taking a towel, He wrapped it around His waist.” I feel prompted by the Holy Spirit to look into what it means that Jesus takes off His outer garment? According to Biblestudytools.com (https://www.biblestudytools.com/john/13-4.html) it means He was laying aside His glory and dignity as Son of God, so He could appear in the form of a servant. Another site referenced the greek meaning in the words to take off. It isn’t just removing, but has a deeper meaning implying of Jesus laying down His life. And that in verse 12 when He puts His robe back on, it is referencing Him taking His life back up. (https://www.heartbeatinternational.org/a-servant-s-garment#:~:text=Jesus%20was%20about%20to%20express,laying%20down%20of%20his%20life.) Jesus then goes on to say at the end of John chapter 13, “I have given you an example – you should do for each other what I have done for you.” (John 13:15)

In between John 13:4 and John 13:15, in case you don’t know, is the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet. As He goes to wash Peter’s feet (ah Peter I feel you, always trying to be spiritual and sometimes missing the mark so badly) Peter stops Him and says, ‘no you can’t wash my feet that’s beneath you Jesus.’ Jesus kindly says, ‘You don’t know what I am doing, but you will understand after these things.’ Peter replies, “Wait, then wash all of me.” I can just see Jesus being so kind, so patient with Peter waiting for him to get it, and loving him while He waits. Then Jesus goes on to finishing washing their feet. The Bible doesn’t specifically say that He washes Judas’s feet, but it’s implied. In this touching story, Jesus takes off His outer garment, makes himself look like a servant, then serves both the (EGR – extra grace required) Peter and the betrayer Judas. He serves them all the same. According to John 13:1 He loved them all till the end. He served and loved the self-righteous and the sinner alike, then calls us to do the same.

It’s not about quitting a job, selling everything I have and giving it to the poor. It’s about serving others – whoever the others are. Those I like, those who wear me out, those who I don’t think are worth the time, those who sin against me – everyone in the middle of my life. It’s about serving because Jesus loved me and took off His outer garment to take up the cross for me. And in return I can take time to serve those around me right where I am. In my church, at my job, in my neighborhood and in my home. I don’t have to quit my job or sell my house. Instead, I have to learn to love well and serve right where I am.