I used to think my love language was not words of affirmation. But when I think of things I have done with my kids to let them know they are special, loved, and valued it seems to always come back to giving them words of affirmation. Maybe I am more of a words of affirmation person more than I thought.
One of my biggest goals in raising my 3 kids is that they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved, valued, special and have great purpose in this world. I want them to know that is what God thinks of them, but I also want them to know that is what their father and I think of them. I look for ways to tell them this outside of just my words.
Since it is almost the end of October, I am beginning to think of the Holiday Season (who am I kidding? I’ve been thinking about this since Hobby Lobby put up their Christmas decorations in August.) Anyway, I never am really sure how to approach the holiday season. On one hand it has all the family time and heartfelt meaning to it, and on the other it has all the craziness of making it perfect, special and memorable. I want my kids to look back on the holidays and think of the love and the joy that came from those times – not the stress.
So this year I have decided to express to them why I am thankful for them as three unique individuals. I have done things like this in the past by writing on hearts why I love them and hanging them around their rooms. One time I wrote on hearts why God loves them. We have done thankful leaves, too – writing down things we are thankful for. We have even done the 1000 gifts lists – writing down as many as we can think of that we are thankful for. And all of those are great and fun family activities to do. In fact, if you haven’t done things like that, I encourage you to try it this year.
For me I wanted to personalize the gratitude this fall. I wanted them to know specific reasons why I am thankful and grateful for them. So I went to Hobby Lobby and got fake fall colored leaves. Then everyday leading up to Thanksgiving I wrote down one thing I was thankful for about them on a leaf and taped that leaf to their doors. I did this for all 3 of them being specific to them. I have one child who makes me laugh all the time. So I told him I was thankful for the times he brings me great joy. I have one who has a servants heart so I told him I was thankful for the times he served me. I have one who likes to spend time with me, so I told her that I was thankful that she wanted to spend time with me. The list went on. Each day they would wake up and find a new leaf, and some days they would find it when they came home from school. The point wasn’t when it was place on their door; it was that for a few weeks they were reminded of why they were special and that someone was thankful for them.
It is one thing to be thankful for objects like houses, weather, food; but it is another to remind someone of the attributes in them that benefit others. It’s a wonderful feeling to know someone is thankful for you as a person.
So as the season of being grateful, thankful and blessed is almost upon us, I challenge you to not just look at the things around you but the people. Tell those you love why your are grateful for them. Tell them what character traits they posses that you are thankful for. And tell them why they are a blessing to you.
Letting others know they have qualities in them that are a blessing to others, and that others are thankful for those qualities, will go farther than you can imagine in creating an atmosphere of thankfulness.
