Live the Crazy Life

Bible, forgiveness, complaining, slow to anger, surrendering, surrendering

When God’s Way Seems too Hard – Remember Who You Serve

October 3, 2022 No Comments

I am smack in the middle of teaching on the book of Ezekiel. This week we are going over one of the hardest chapters of the book– and that’s saying something. Chapter 24. If you are unfamiliar with the book here’s a quick recap. Ezekiel is a priest and a prophet. He just turned 30 in the beginning of the book; he could now preform priestly duties on his own. Except he was captured by Babylon and taken into captivity. But captivity is where God uses him to speak, to lead, and to prophesy. This is the first of many things Ezekiel did that was not the way he thought life would go. That right there is a big lesson to learn in and of its self. God’s ways are not our ways. (Is. 55:8-9).

Ezekiel has spent 5 years trying to help the Israelite captives understand the consequences of their sins, as individuals and as a nation. They haven’t listened. Now, in chapter 24 the last time Ezekiel prophesies to the Israelites before turning his attention to the surrounding nations, we find this HARD thing God asks him to do.

God tells him “Your wife will die, and you are not to mourn her death.” This seems like a punch to the stomach from a God who is loving and forgiving, and kind and slow to anger. Questions like “How? Why? And really?” almost jump out our mouths as we read this. It doesn’t seem right, and for sure doesn’t sound like God. And yet it is God, and it is what He says.

How do we reconcile this with the God we believe in? To start we must look at what God is doing and not just what He is saying. I don’t for a moment trivialize what Ezekiel had to have thought and wrestled with. God has asked Ezekiel to do some very strange and not so easy things to get the attention of the Israelites. But this seems too much. Enter Ezekiel 24:18 – “So I spoke to the people in the morning, and that evening my wife died; and the next morning I did as I was commanded.”

I think Ezekiel is my favorite Old Testament person. He lived a life that shows what it truly means to put God first. Something we say but do we really do? He did. He is an example that it is possible to live with God being truly #1 in our lives; above job, above our comfort, above our family (kids, husbands, mothers and fathers.) Above it all.

So we know Ezekiel chose God first but why would God ask this of him. While God’s mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:22-23) and He is slow to anger (Psalm 103:8 and Ex.34:6), He is also just (Deut. 32:4) and a God who is jealous over us (Ex 34:14.).

For me, understanding and accepting this hard side of God came when I read verse 13 of chapter 24. “In your filthiness is lewdness because I have cleansed, and you were not cleansed.” Stick with me for a moment. Ezekiel is a prophet who is called to physically act out what God is saying. He is the visual aid so to speak. Ezekiel isn’t who God is speaking to in verse 13. Verse 13 is to those who have taken God’s forgiveness lightly.

No one wants to admit it but we all have done that at times. Hanging on to that sin we have repented of, asked to be freed from, but won’t let go of. That one thing we cling to a little tighter in our left hand while holding our right hand out to God. In the word of this Old Testament Book the Idol we have in our heart that we hope no one (not even God) sees. God is asking Ezekiel to give up his wife for the sake of His Glory. And he does.

The other day I was visited by a religious group going door to door to share their “faith”. I watched out my window as adults (not teens, not even young adults, but men and women older than me) got of their cars, gathered, prayed and went out. One man stood at the end of my driveway for several minutes – head bowed, what I assumed to be praying. Then his partner joined him and together they walked up to my front door. I walked outside, explained to them that I am a pastor and secure in my faith, had no desire to debate my believes, and blessed them. Upon returning to my front door, I felt the Holy Spirit asking me what I am doing to make my God known to the lost world? Would I be willing to go to strangers, risk being yelled at, having doors slammed in my face all for the chance to share the gospel? Would I humble myself for the sake of someone else’s salvation. Would I put God above my own comfort? Would I be willing to walk through pain if it meant someone else would truly repent and turn from their wicked ways and be saved? What would I give up to spread the fame of who My God is to the world?

This hard chapter of Ezekiel reminds us that God is God and we shall have no other Gods before Him. Not my comfort, not my wants, not my spouse nor my children can have the space that God has in my heart. God may never ask me to give up my family for Him, but He does daily ask me to give up my ways and wants so that my heart is fully yielded to Him. So that my heart is humble and willing to pray for those who don’t yet know Him, to serve those who I feel don’t deserve it. To honor those who I want to discredit. To live a life that shows the world around me that God is first, and I have no other God besides Him.

Prayer, surrendering, Uncategorized

Learning to sway in the wind

June 6, 2022 No Comments

I had just finished my morning bible reading. Ezekiel 12. I began praying for a friend that they would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit when I looked up from the patio where I was sitting and saw a tall palm tree moving back and forth in the wind. God began to speak to my heart.

This palm tree’s tall trunk is maybe 8-10 inches in diameter, (maybe smaller I am bad with math and guessing dimensions). It’s slightly windy this morning. Nothing major. A nice ocean breeze. As I watched the palm tree move this way and that – unpredictable movements based on the wind – I began to think, “What keeps this tree from toppling over in heavy wind?” Let me explain how tall this palm tree is. I am on the 6th floor of a condo building. This tree’s palms are barely visible to me from where I sit. I would guess the full height of the tree is 8-9 stories tall. This tall skinny tree is swaying gracefully in the breeze.

God said that if I would learn to move with the wind of the Spirit when it starts to blow, the Spirit could keep moving and I would keep swaying with it changing directions when needed, never trying to control the Spirit. Just yielding to its direction.

I have only been in Maui for a few days but I have yet to see a palm tree laying on the ground uprooted because of the wind. I also haven’t seen one broken in two from bending to the wind. What I have seen is trees moving with the wind, swaying and swinging all the while making beautiful soothing sounds with their palms.

It is so peaceful, there is a bird chirping, the sounds of the palms swishing in the air, the sight of all kinds of palm trees dancing with the wind.

My mind began to wonder – what if we all gave up control and just moved with the Wind? What if I learned to live in a peaceful movement with the wind of the Spirit? What would it be like to sway and bend as the Spirt leads instead of fearing that I might bump into this palm tree or that palm tree or worse bend too far and break?

The Holy Spirit is gentle. I know that, yet I forget that. When I feel the Spirit move, I sometimes get tense and worried. What if the Holy Spirit prompts me to do something weird or embarrassing? Yet as I looked out at the palm trees around me the Lord began to show me the beauty I would produce if I yield more to the Holy Spirit, and that I look weird when I fight against the Spirit; not when I move with it.

The swaying of the palm tree is graceful, beautiful and even a little intoxicating. I could sit for hours in this peaceful place listening to the sounds of the wind and seeing the peaceful movement the wind creates.

The Lord began to say “Give up control. Yield to me. Trust my Spirit and move with wind of Heaven, and you too will create a beautiful sound. Others will watch and be in awe of my Spirit in you.’

So today I give back the control I never was meant to have. I yield to the Holy Spirit and commit to a life of swaying in the wind.

Friendship, Jesus, overwhelmed, Prayer, Trust, Trustworthy

Overwhelmed – When the enemy tried to knock me out and God spoke

May 27, 2022 1 Comment

man near carton boxes with many different words about stress

I am sure if you have been a believer for longer than a day you have experienced a season where the enemy seems to hit you out of the blue with spiritual warfare, and then the hits just keep coming from every direction. I don’t like battles. I am not confrontational by nature. I am a people pleaser who easily can put making others happy above my own happiness. I am not a cryer, but lately you’d think I was pregnant the way I cry at EVERYTHING. You get it if you have walked through a season like this in your own life.

It started a little more than 2 weeks ago. An event that shouldn’t have had that much effect on me did. It caught me off guard and sent me into a tale spin. While I was still trying to figure out why I was angry and hurt but this situation, the attacks piled up and took me by complete surprise. After 2 weeks of stress, funerals (yes that is plural), hurt feelings, mental self esteem negative thoughts, PT for a torn ligament in my arm, and fighting with those close to me, I found myself feeling like I was drowning by it all. I began to feel spiritually bi-polar – excitedly “preaching” to my husband one moment, then tearfully exclaiming to him I give up, I throw in the towel, I am done the next. The highs and emotional lows were crazy The tears come easier than I thought was possible.

I read a devotional book personally just for me every morning and every evening. Starting my day with God and ending with God has become a new habit in life this year. On one of the hard days, I was feeling so overwhelmed by, well, everything. Then God stepped in. I cried more but this time not tears of overwhelming hurt and frustration but overwhelming tears of how God was there speaking and loving me. That night I opened my night time devotional book and the title for that day was PERSEVERE. The verse 2 Timothy 4:5 – “Be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”

The first sentence from that day’s devotional reads, “Today, persevere. Do not give up, no matter what happens.” I laughed out loud. At my church we are in a series on 2 Timothy. I had been crying out for God to show up, and He did. Just not how I thought He would. I should know by now He never moves how I think He should or will. He didn’t show up and fix the problems although I am believing He will. He came and spoke to my broken heart. He came being more worried about me and the condition of my heart than the chaos around me.

I looked up a few key words from 2 Timothy 4:5. Sober means free from illusions, being tempered and self-controlled, the opposite of irrational. I had been staring at the illusions of the enemy. I had been irrational and definitely wasn’t exercising self-control.

Hardship means enduring painful hardships that SEEM to be a set back but are not. Lastly fulfill your ministry means the use of God’s power bringing the believer to maximum potential, matching their true knowledge of Him.

I finished reading the one page devotional and my spirit shifted. I cried again, but not out of fear; out of knowing God knew how I felt and had been there with me over the last few weeks. I fell asleep in a better frame of mind than I had started the day.

God didn’t stop there. My morning devotional — The same power that resurrected Christ from the dead lives in me. The verse. Romans 8:11. In the devotional she referenced Mark 12:18. The Sadducees were a group of religious leaders during the life of Jesus who were convinced that Jesus’s life ended in a dark tomb and that there was no resurrection. The author says “As I thought how sad it is to see life this way, I sensed the Holy Spirit whisper ‘You have areas in your life where you don’t believe in the resurrection either.” BAM God was opening my eyes and heart to see where my faith was lacking. Again tears of God’s overwhelming love for me.

As if the two devotions were not enough God moved further. Two bloggers I follow posted last night and early this morning, one on don’t give up. The verse “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9, ESV). God was moving telling me He is here. He knows. He cares. He’s not done, so I shouldn’t be either.

Then God got real personal. I have a friend who has hurt my feelings deeply and the worst part is that she is unaware, and I believe at this point she is incapable of seeing or acknowledging this. The other blogger I mentioned posted “How to love well when a friend hurts you”. More tears. God knows. God is here, God cares, God feels my pain, and will move and do what only He can to heal my hurts.

I am so overwhelmed by the God I serve. The only person ever to cause me tears of joy – God.

It’s a tough world right now. Hurt and pain seem to be the normal. Anxiety and stress, being overwhelmed, is just the way life is. That my friend is the lie I had allowed the enemy to convince me was true. It is an illusion. God’s word – “be sober”. God wants me and you to live free from the illusion the enemy creates. God wants me and you to live in full resurrection power. God wants you and me to not give up. God wants you and me to live in unity with other believers. Stop living the illusion and start living the TRUTH. This is a challenge for you and for me. Are you up for it? I am!!

Bible, forgiveness, complaining, slow to anger, The power of the Blood, Uncategorized

A Journey Through the Book of Numbers – Part 5: The long awaited conclusion

March 12, 2022 No Comments

statue of st mary standing on top of rock

Thank you for taking the time to read this series post. Today I am wrapping up the book of Numbers. There are two different things I’d like to talk about in this last post. Starting in Chapter 29 I will share about the Day of Atonement and then wrap of with Moses’ angry outburst at the rock which will take us back to chapter 20.

I see so much of myself in the Israelites. They whine, they complain, God moves on their behalf, they rejoice, and then they repeat that cycle over again. Maybe the time gaps between the rejoicing and the complaining grow a little longer each cycle but yet they go right back to being complaining whiny babies. It is so easy to see sin in someone else than to acknowledge in your own heart.

While I was reading through Numbers I came across a verse in Chapter 29 that seemed to scream stop studying this and learn from this. It reads like this “You are to hold a sacred assembly on the tenth day of this seventh month and practice self-denial; do not do any work.” Numbers 29:7. Practice self-denial. I don’t know about you but I am horrible at this. I mean H-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. We live in the land of ‘I want what I want when I want it’. And I have adopted that life style more than I would like to admit. And the not work part – what?? I am always working, either for the church, or doing house work, or doing something for the family, or working in the garden because it helps me destress from all the work. That’s just life in America right? That is the norm, right? I mean I know we take a Sabbath but if I am honest that just means grocery shopping and finishing whatever household things didn’t get done that week, and maybe reading the Bible and watching a show.

So I sat with that. Prayed about it, thought about it and then studied it. What I learned is how the Jewish culture, at least in Biblical times, prepares for the Day of Atonement. For those that aren’t familiar with it, the Day of Atonement is the one day the High Priest would go into the Holy of Holies and offer sacrifices to atone for the sin of themselves and their nation. They did this every year along with all the other required sacrifices throughout the year.

The Day of Atonement, or Yom Kippur, is the climax of a 10 day period where the Jewish people reflect and repent for their lives and actions over the last year. They spend from the 1st day of the month of Tishri which is Rosh Hashanah until Yom Kippur repenting and looking internally at the condition of their heart. These 10 days are called the ‘Days of Awe’.

The Torah states that on Yom Kippur the High Priest could go into the Holy of Holies and call upon the name of Yaweh to offer a blood sacrifice for the sins of the people. A life for life sacrifice. Once again we see how the book of Numbers points us to our need for Jesus who was the High Priest who could legally go into the Holy of Holies and He Himself offered His life in place of mine and yours and every person who will accept Him.

However, in my studying I found that 40 days before Yom Kippur is the ‘Season of Teshuvah’. This 40 days is the period of time marked on the Jewish calendar that Moses was called to go back up Mount Sinai and he then received the second set of tablets of the 10 commandments. Moses went up to Mount Sinai no less then 3 times, each for 40 days at a time. The last time Moses went up was on the 1st of Elul and he descended 40 days later on the 10th of Tishri which is now Yom Kippur. This 40 days between the 1st of Elul and the 10th of Tishri represents the time of national sin and forgiveness obtained by Teshuvah before the Lord. Teshuvah means “turn towards God.” It is a time of soul searching and offering prayers for forgiveness.

I had decided that I would observe Lent this year. Just me and God. I wasn’t doing this for a study but because I personally need to reflect on where my heart was, spend some time with Jesus, and get prepared to celebrate Easter. (As I have said in other posts I struggle with the Holy Holidays turned secular like Easter and Christmas.) I wanted this year to be different and was believing this 40 days of Lent would help with that. I tell you that because they day I researched and learned of the Season of Teshuvah was on March 2nd, 2022 – the first day of Lent. We see that in the old testament God was setting up practices and applications for his people to see how wicked they had become, turn and repent, and accept that one sacrifice was sufficient to cleanse them of unrighteousness so they could continue in their relationship with the Lord. Jesus is our atonement for sin once and for all. He is that sacrifice that allows me, a sinner, to stand in the righteousness of Christ before the Lord. I was blown away at God’s goodness and provisions for maintaining relationship with His people.

What great lengths he went to, to show us His love that was always there for mankind. The day of self denial is the day you realize it isn’t you that makes you clean. You can’t be holy enough for God’s standards without the blood of a sacrifice. A life for a life. It is a day and a season to reflect on how much I need Jesus. I must deny myself, take up my cross, dieing to my wants and my ways, and follow Jesus and His ways. Because His way leads to life and mine leads to more work, more effort only to end up so off from the mark I was aiming at.

And Now on to Moses and why he didn’t get to enter the promised land. Chapter 20 recants the story of the Israelites once more complaining. This time it was a about lack of water. Which, by the way, God had already shown them many times how He controlled the water. He turned it into blood in Egypt. He parted the Red Sea so they could cross over to safety from the Eygptians. And He provided water in the desert when Moses hit the rock and water poured out. So why can’t they just believe God will provide? Hmmm. I see myself there. God has healed people I have prayed for. He has provided for me time and time again. And yet when it comes down to it, I freak out, complain, ask God why He is doing this to me, only to have Him show me His love and answers to my situation once again. Turns out seeing isn’t believing after all.

This time God tells Moses to speak to the rock and water will come forth. But Moses is human just like us. He gets mad just like us. He does things out of pride just like us. Instead of speaking to the rock He hits it twice and water comes forth. Moses disobeyed God and yet God provided for the people and for Moses. Don’t miss that. Moses sinned and God still moved despite that sin. But then we read that because Moses didn’t obey God he won’t enter the promised land.

I have always struggled with this. It seems so harsh of God. In fact, too harsh for the God who loves unconditionally. But the story doesn’t end there. The book of Numbers is not the last time we read about Moses. We read once more about Moses in Matthew 17:1-9 Jesus takes Peter, James and John up on a high mountain and He is transfigured in front of them. He shows them his glory, and who he really is – part of the Trinity of God. He Himself reveals His Holy-self to them. Verse 3 of chapter 17 reads ‘Suddenly Moses and Elijah appeared to them, talking with Him.” Moses shows up on the mount of Transfiguration and is talking with Jesus. Moses is standing on a mountain in the Promised Land with Elijah and Jesus.

In the book of Numbers we read that God allows him to see the Promised Land. But years and years later Jesus stands with Moses in the Promised Land. God redeemed what sin caused Moses to lose. His ways really are better.

The book of Numbers reminds us of our propensity to sin. It also reminds us that God made a way to redeem us from our sins through the blood of Jesus. God’s heart is for us, it always has been and it always will be. And even when we think we have blown it so bad that God redeem our situation, He stands and talks with us as we experience His promises. God is faithful and more loving than we will ever know. And the book of Numbers reminds us of that, through all the ups and downs, sinning and repenting; God never gave up on them, and He will never give up on you.

forgiveness, complaining, slow to anger, Jesus, Steadfast love, The power of the Blood

A Journey Through The Book of Numbers – Part 4 Grumbling and Complaining

March 2, 2022 No Comments

angry wife explaining problem during quarrel

In this part of the series on the book of Numbers we will be focusing on a major concept in the book – complaining, grumbling and discontentment. We won’t be so much looking at specific chapters because it seems someone is either complaining to Moses and Aaron, or grumbling against God, or both.

In chapter 11 we see the people complain openly before the Lord, and He responds with fire on the outskirts of the camp. Then a rabble in verse 4 (a reference to possible Israelites that married Egyptians, or Egyptians that fled Egypt with the Israelites) enticed the Israelites to continue complaining. The complaints didn’t just stay among them. That’s the thing about complaining and being grumpy – it affects those around you, and more often than not complainers get a following. One discontented person can cause those around them to become discontented which is what we see in chapters 10-14.

They complain about food, meat, water and even the promised land in chapter 14. Moses sends spies to see the land that God has promised to give them. Eight of the ten bring back a bad report saying the land has strong people with fortified cities, that they will never be able to conquer. Two of the spies remind the Israelites that God had promised them a land flowing with milk and honey, a good land a fertile land. They even bring the proof that the land is all that God had promised – a cluster of grapes they brought back had to be carried on a pole by two men (see 13:23). God had never lied to the Israelites. They even had visual proof of Him keeping his word. But the people focused on the wrong thing. The focused on the enemies of the land instead of the Lord’s promise to hand their enemies over to the Israelites.

It’s easy to look at this part of scripture and think, “Silly Israelites. Don’t they remember how the Lord delivered them from Egypt just a year ago?” But we all do that. God does something amazing in our lives, we celebrate, we praise, we rejoice, and then we go back to our lives. Sickness comes, heartache happens, and we wonder why the Lord has abandoned us in our time of need. One of the things repeated often in the Old Testament is to remember the great and mighty works the Lord has done in their midsts and for them. When we stop reminding ourselves and those around us of the great deeds that God has done, we fall prey to our old way of thinking about God. We see this happen over and over again.

If you learn nothing else from the book of Numbers remember this. God does not like having His character questioned. When the Israelites started saying that God had brought them out of Egypt only to die in the desert short of his promise, He responded. And each time His response got stronger. First, fire on the outskirts of the camp, then to a whole generation missing the promised land, to Miriam getting leprosy, plagues breaking out, and an entire clan being swallowed up when the ground below them opened up.

The complaining even got to Moses in chapter 20:10-12. The people had been complaining once more – this time because they had no water. Moses and Aaron sought the Lord, and He told them to go speak to the rock and water would pour forth. But Moses had had it. He took credit for what God wanted to do when He said, “Listen you rebels! Must we bring water out this rock for you?” God doesn’t like sharing credit, or His glory. So He told Moses and Aaron that they won’t go into the Land He promised. This sounds harsh and it is, but Moses was the closest person at this point to God. God spoke to him in ways unprecedented. Moses had allowed the hard-hearted bitterness of those around him to affect him. We do that, too. Just spend 2 hours with a whiny, grumpy toddler and see how patient and kind you are at the end of that 2 hours. Every mom has experienced this. It’s crazy how a toddler can turn a perfectly calm mom into a screaming maniac.

Our attitude matters. We who have chosen to make Jesus our Lord and Savior, are called to represent Him, and do it well. Verses like, “Do all things with out grumbling or complaining” (Philippians 2:14), and “Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord” (Colossians 3:23-24) are not just good advice. They are commandments to follow. Not just for our sake but also for the sake of those around us. How are we to make Jesus appealing to a lost world if we complain and grumble more than those without Jesus?

In the middle of the season of complaining that Israel is going through the Lord reminds them once more of His true character. Chapter 14:18 says “The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and rebellion.”

In chapter 19 we have this weird section of scripture. In the middle of all the complaining and bad attitudes toward God that the Israelites had, God gives Moses and Aaron an outline of a purification ritual. It is not the normal sacrifice. This one uses a red heifer that has no defect and has never been yoked. There is much in these few scriptures that point to the need of redemption through blood. The red heifer was to be burned outside the camp. Jesus was crucified outside the city walls of Jerusalem. Cedar wood, hyssop and crimson string were also used in the ritual. Jesus was hung on a tree, they gave Him wine and vinegar from a sponge attached to a hyssop branch, and the crimson string represents His blood that was shed for the forgiveness of our sins.

Once more we see the book of Numbers remind us that God had a plan for redeeming His people all along.

To read the last blog in the series click here.

Bible, community, Jesus, love, wisdom

A Journey through the book of Numbers – Part 3 Camping with a Cloud and the 2nd passover celebration

February 28, 2022 No Comments

unrecognizable traveler standing on mountain top and admiring landscape

For this blog on the book of Numbers we will be focusing on chapters 8-10. If you haven’t read the previous 2 blogs on the book of Numbers, you can do so by clicking here for part 1, and clicking here for part 2.

In chapter 8 we see that God has given helpers to Aaron and his sons – the entire tribe of the Levites. The Levites have to be dedicated to be able to serve God and Aaron. Again in this chapter we see that God has claimed the first born of every male both human and animals alike. In place of the first born male of the Israelites God has taken the Levites.

Not everyone is called to be pastor or priest as Aaron was. But that doesn’t mean that pastors/priests don’t need people to help them. Serving at a church is a blessing to pastors. Whether you serve on staff or as a volunteer, it takes a “tribe” to do it. Every job of serving is a help and a blessing. From serving coffee, to greeters and toddler teachers, they are all helpful and needed. Just a little plug for volunteers.

Chapter 9 is the 2nd Passover. Or really the first time that they are to celebrate it as a remembrance of what God had done for the Israelites. This is an interesting chapter to me. God has specific rules for celebrating passover which left some of the Israelites unable to celebrate the passover. There are a few lessons to learn from this chapter. First, God is a god of grace. He is righteous and Holy, and because of that He make rules and regulations, but He is not ridged. He make allowances for those who don’t meet His holy standards. Isn’t this just another reflection of what God did by sending Jesus to take our place, and die in our place? We didn’t meet God’s holy standards, so He made a way for us just like He made a way for those Israelites who were ceremonially unclean and couldn’t celebrate passover.

The next things we learn is from Moses. The Israelites bring their concern about some not being able to celebrate passover to Moses and He answers them in verse 8 saying ‘Wait, and I will inquire what the Lord commands concerning you.’ Moses didn’t give a quick reply, He didn’t respond with his opinion either. He knew this was something only God could answer. It would benefit us all if we took a moment to seek the Lord’s answer to questions.

In chapter 10 we see the Israelites are on the move once more. God has the Israelites make trumpets out of hammered silver. This gives Moses a way to call either all the Israelites or just the tribe leaders. Remember there are over a million of them with women and children. When they break camp and travel, the Ark of the covenant is to go ahead of them symbolizing God leading them. In verse 35 of chapter 10 we read what Moses would say when the Ark would set out. “Arise Lord! May your enemies be scattered! May those who hate You flee from before You! Return, Lord to the myriad thousands of Israel!” This sounds like a good thing to declare and pray before moving the people of God. This is one of those times when looking into the original Hebrew words and finding their meanings helps give a brighter picture of what is actually happening. Arise is the word Kam and it’s a verb that means move into position to attack. Moses is calling God not only to lead them but to be in position ready to attack and defend the Israelites behind the Lord. The whole phrase is a little word picture showing that the Lord would rise up away from the Ark and go out ahead of the people and do battle on their behalf, and then return to rest on the Ark and stay with the Israelites. What a picture. God is with you, then He goes before you clearing your path fighting your battle and then returns to go with you. God is a God of relationship. He protects you and fights for you and when that is done He wants to be there right in your midst until He has to go and fight for you again.

The book of Numbers may sound boring by its name, but it shows us over and over God’s love and plan for redeeming His people and bringing them to the promised land live with them and among them. It points us towards heaven, our promised land, and reminds us while we are here traveling through this foreign land, among hostile people, God is with us. God is fighting for us, and leading us home.

To continue to the next blog about the book of Numbers click here.

Bible, Jesus

A Journey Through the Book of Numbers – Part 2 – God’s remedy for Jealousy

February 25, 2022 No Comments

yellow ceramic mug with water droplets in time lapse photography

In part 1 of this series I shared how God had revealed his plans for salvation in the first and third chapters of the book of Numbers. You can read that blog by clicking here . Now I want to look at chapter 5. The chapter I have titled “God’s remedy for jealousy”.

In the beginning of this chapter we have God telling the people how they make compensation for their sins. In verse 6 we see how they handle sins committed against another person. It goes on to say that person acts unfaithfully towards the Lord and is guilty. God is saying if you sin against someone it is as if you are being unfaithful to me your God, because I have chosen you to represent me to the earth and to be my people and I will be your God. God values people. He feels our pain and hurts as if they are his own. So when you sin against another person, it is as if you have done that act directly towards God himself. That thought right there should make us stop and think before we act. This is Becca’s theology so take it as you want. I believe God uses the word unfaithful in verse 6 of this chapter to link to verse 11-31 which is about potential unfaithfulness in marriage. God is a covenant God. A concept I feel is lost in our western modern culture. A covent is a binding promise. One you can’t just walk away from if you don’t like how things are going. It is for life, for good and for bad, it’s not an option to not fulfill one’s covenant vow. God made a covenant with you when you confessed that Jesus is your savior. He says He will be your God from that moment on. Whether you are good or bad, you now belong to Him. He may punish our sins, but He won’t stop being our God. Because of Jesus our sin cannot separate us from God, but it can invoke His jealousy.

Which leads us right up to verse 11-31. God understands jealousy. He calls Himself a jealous God – see Ex.34:14, Deut. 6:15, and Ex. 20:5 for a few examples. He wants our undivided love, our full devotion, love and affection for Him and no other god. So understand this emotion. God sets up a way for us to handle this emotion. If a man has suspicion that his wife has been unfaithful, he is to bring her to the priest who is to give the woman a test to see if she has been unfaithful or not.

Ok let me stop right here and address a few things – first, this is weird I get it. It is an odd way to work this out in a marriage. And it does seem very unfair to the wife, because there is not a test for the man. First we have to realize this is written in a time when men had many wives, thus making it hard for men to be considered “unfaithful” (Don’t blast me with anger on this topic, I don’t know why God allowed this in the Old Testament.) The culture when this was written is a male dominant culture we can all agree, but that doesn’t make the principal behind this strange ritual invalid. Just keep reading and keep your heart open to what the Lord is saying here, and remember I am a woman writing this so to all you feminists who want to shout unfair I feel you, but hang in here with me for a little while longer.

Here is how the ritual went. The man would bring the potential unfaithful woman to the priest who would have her stand before the Lord, take dirt from the tabernacle floor mix it with water, remove her head covering, and place in her hands the grain offering for jealousy. The woman is to take an oath saying if she has not been unfaithful this water will not bring a curse on her stomach; however, if she has it will bring a curse causing her belly to swell. The priest is to write the curses on a scroll and wash the words he wrote off in the water and have the woman drink it. The priest then takes the grain offering the woman is holding and burns it, then she is to drink the water. If she is guilty her stomach will swell, she will get sick and be unable to have children. If she is not guilty then she will be fine and the water won’t effect her. If she is found guilty she is to bear her own iniquity.

Alright here is what this says – God does not want a husband to linger in his thoughts of jealousy. He wants to quickly restore trust in a marriage. Application for today – take that feeling to God, men. Ask God who is truth and light to reveal truth and bring anything that is hidden into the light. I believe women who feel jealous about their husbands should do the same thing. Go stand before God and ask Him to bring light to the situation. And let me just point out right here that God does not say if the woman is guilty the man can divorce her. He simply says she is to bear her iniquity. If this is where you find yourself, that one or the other in a marriage has been unfaithful, seek out a Godly counselor, spend time in deep prayer, seek God like you never have before, and trust Him for healing.

For the woman, God is her defender. If her husband has wrongly accused her, God will let it be known. The word says righteousness protects the innocent. If she has done nothing wrong then God as her defender will prove that. And then she is to trust God to heal the jealous heart of her husband.

In this ritual known as ‘Sotah’ the name of God was dissolved into the water. In the Hebrew culture it was forbidden to erase the name of God. This is one reason that they don’t fully write out the name of God. But here we see God allows His name to be dissolved and ingested by the woman. God wants to rebuild trust in a marriage so much so that He allows His Holy name to be used in a way that is not allowed in other circumstances. In this ritual description in Numbers chapter 5, we see the phrase ‘before the Lord’ 4 times. The dirt from the tabernacle floor and the dissolved name of the Lord points to the presence of God. God wants us to take our feeling of jealousy to Him, if and when needed we will involve church leaders to help heal the marriage. God is personally invested in marriage as it represents His covenant with us.

Remember God calls Himself a jealous God. He understands feelings of jealousy and the hurt that follows. He also calls Himself merciful in Ex. 34:6. He is the defender of the innocent as seen in Psalm 18:1-2. God wants to be in the middle of our marriage, in the middle of the mess, in the middle of our jealous hearts. He wants to heal. He went to great lengths to prove this in creating a ritual just for this purpose.

Today we don’t have to take our spouse to the church and have the pastor or priest give them some weird concoction to drink, but we should take them before the Lord in prayer, and trust God to show us truth and heal us.

The remedy for jealousy is prayer, going before God, and asking him to show us the truth. Then trust Him to heal what is broken whether in our own heart due to our own issues, or in the relationship due to poor choices. God is merciful. He is a restorer. He is our healer. Trust Him with the process and know He understand.

To read the next post in this series click here.

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A Journey Through the book of Numbers – Part 1

February 24, 2022 No Comments

I have never done a series on my blog. So this is a first. And yes, I am starting with the book of Numbers. I know I know I hate math, too, but this book is amazing. I began reading it in prepping to lead a Bible study this summer by Lauren Chandler on the book of Numbers. The study is called With Us in the Wilderness . I haven’t started hers yet, just thought I would read through the book and use the First 5 App from Lysa TerKeurst to have a second source of info when leading this study.

Just in the first two chapters I was blown away by all God was speaking and showing me. The book of Numbers isn’t just a list of Numbers and census of biblical Israel. It’s so much more. So I will start with my insight from chapters 1-3.

Chapter 1 starts out with the Lord asking Moses to take a census of the people. Seems boring, right? But in everything God does there is purpose, and most of the time that purpose is mind blowing. All the tribes were counted but the Levites because they were to work in the tabernacle and had specific duties in moving the tabernacle. Then once everyone was counted Moses, by command of the Lord, tells the Israelites how to camp. Remember they had just been freed from slavery in Egypt and are now making their way to the promised land. Moving more than 1 million people through the desert wasn’t an easy task and didn’t just happen over night. We all know they camped in the wilderness for 40 years, but that was due to some discontented people we will talk about in later blogs. However, I think even if that didn’t happen it still would have taken some time. So the people had to learn how to camp, how to break camp, and how to fight.

God is intentional in everything He says and does. This census that Moses took led to teaching the Israelites the best camp formation for them. When they stopped and set up camp they were to do so in a specific way. The Tent of meeting or Tent of the Tabernacle was to be in the middle. One three sides of the Tent of Meeting were the Levites camps, leaving no Levites to camp on the east side of the Tabernacle. There, the largest group would camp – the tribes of Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun. To the north the tribes of Dan, Asher, and Naphtali. The west side was Ephraim, Manasseh, and Benjamin. And last the south where the tribes of Reuben, Simeon, and Gad camped. Because Moses took the census, He knew where to place the bigger tribes. Why is that important? Because God wanted Moses to keep the Tabernacle safe from an attack. With the tribes strategically placed, there were fighting forces all around the Tabernacle with an inner force of the Levites.

Ok so you might be thinking, so what? God protected the Tabernacle. Take a look at this picture from my Holman Woman’s Study Bible.

Do you see it? They camped in the shape of a cross. With the Tabernacle at the center. Pretty cool right. Even in the book of Numbers God is speaking to us about His plan for salvation. And that is just chapter 1.

We see again the concept of redemption in chapter 3. In chapter 3 we see God asking Moses to take a count of all the Levites, the tribe that is closest to the Tabernacle and the ones who are put in charge of caring for the Tabernacle, the sacrifices, and the offerings given to the Lord. In verses 12-13 of chapter 3, we read that the Lord has taken the Levites in place of every firstborn Israelite because every firstborn belongs to the Lord.

After Moses numbers the Levites we discover that there were 273 more men in the other 11 tribes than there were in the tribe of the Levites. An atonement price is set at 5 shekels of silver for those who out number the Levites. Verse 48 calls it a “redemption price”. Jesus is the first born male of God who is perfect without blemish who was sacrificed in our place. The book of Numbers helps us see that even in the Old Testament God had plans for redeeming His people. He was foreshadowing all that Jesus would one day do, while making provision for those who lived before Him. God is full of love and wants to have relationship with His people. From the Old to New Testament, that has never changed.

I can’t wait to share God’s remedy for jealousy in the next part of this series on the book of Numbers.

To read part 2 click here.

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Behold-look, Taste & See There is always hope.

January 7, 2022 No Comments

As we moved from 2021 to 2022 a few words and a verse were rolling around in my head. They are my anchor for whatever lies ahead in 2022. Let’s face it; for me the last 4 years have been a roller coster of great times and some of the lowest times in my life. I am longing for everything to just level out in my life. No new surprises, less stress please, and just a season of steadiness with God. I am sure many of you feel the same, maybe not from 4 years of weirdness, but certainly from the last 2.

So as I began to look ahead to this year, God began to highlight the word BEHOLD in the Christmas story. Then He began to show me how many times He says behold in other parts of His word. The first place the word behold held my attention was in Luke 2:10. I know Christmas is over and it is weird to talk about a “Christmas verses” in January, but check this out. The word behold doesn’t translate directly to English. We use the word look. But when the Bible says behold it’s more like LOOK–STOP EVERYTHING AND PAY ATTENTION TO THIS RIGHT NOW!! Like someone is yelling and full of excitement or fear or both. It conveys an intense call to focus on something. So when you read behold, it’s like God is call attention to the very next thing said. In the case of Luke 2:10 it is the Good News of the Gospel that’s for ALL people. (I promise to stop yelling at you through text now, just trying to make a point).

The thought has been rolling around in my head, do I behold the Good News? Do I live with the truth of the Gospel front and center in my thinking and acting? If I am honest, I don’t. And God began to whisper “what if you did?” What if I took the whole truth of the Gospel into my life and lived like it was true in all situations? Would I still have pain and problems? Yes! Would pain and problems matter as much in light of the fact that, because of Jesus and what He did at the cross, this broken messed up world is not my permanent home? If I focus on the reality that one day there is a place where there will be no more pain, hurt, or even death, would it change my heart in the here and now? I believe the answer is yes.

Because of who Jesus is and what He did when He took the sins of the world upon Himself so that I could live in right standing with God there is ALWAYS HOPE. (Sorry last yell/typing I promise.) With God this world isn’t the end. Nothing is hopeless with God because nothing is impossible for Him. (see Mark 10:27 or Matthew 19:26.)

Enter the word hope. I mean what a word. Hope – it brings a smile to your face just saying it. It changes dark to light in your mind when you allow for even the slightest sliver of hope to enter. Hope means we aren’t stuck in our situations or circumstances forever. Hope means things can change. Hope means we believe what God said, and He said “I have overcome the world” in John 16:33. Hope means what we see here isn’t all there is to see! Ahh how I love that I can behold hope.

As I began this year with the plan to behold hope in all situations and remind myself of the hope that the Good News brings, God led me to a verse to focus on for this year. Psalm 34:8-9. ‘Taste and see that the Lord is good.” The word taste means to perceive, and the word perceive means to become aware of, or conscious of something; to come to realize or understand. The word see means to take head, to see, to experience, to advise ones self.

God is showing me that what I behold becomes what I believe. So if I behold the hope of the Good News and I taste, or perceive, God’s goodness and I see God’s goodness; and when I don’t see it I advise myself of the truth of God’s goodness; then this year, however it turns out, won’t matter much, if at all.

So instead of putting my hope in a new year to bring the change, the steadiness, the peace, I long for; this year I am beholding the hope of the Good News, and I am going to experience the goodness of God by tasting and seeing.

Bible, community, love, Steadfast love, surrendering, surrendering

What kind of sign are you?

October 5, 2021 No Comments

Everyone is fighting for something these days. Whether it’s public safety issues like vaccines and mask mandates, to school curriculum content, to saving the earth. I think it is great that people are finally taking an interest in the laws and rules that affect their daily lives. My issue is not what you are fighting for but how you are fighting. Before you get all offended keep reading, and hear me out.

Two phrases keep rolling around in my head; one from the Bible and one from well known Bible study teacher Beth Moore. Beth asked the question in her Daniel Bible study “do you regularly wound the enemy?” That is a very thought provoking question. If I am honest my answer is no, not even close. I am a conflict avoider in the natural and most definitely don’t go looking for spiritual warfare. However it seems that spiritual warfare has found me. So the question stands ‘do I regularly wound the enemy’?

The second phrase is from Psalm 86:17 it says “Make me a sign for good, so that those who hate me may see it and be ashamed. For you, ADONAI, have helped me and comforted me.” (TLV version of the Bible.)The word sign according the Lexicon means “a token for good.” In other words David is saying “Let me reflect goodness so that those that are not good will be ashamed.” Why would David pray that? I believe the answer is two fold. One so that his enemies would realize that they took the wrong side. And two that they might realize ADONAI is the one true God. The whole Psalm is about God who is slow to anger and full of steadfast love.

My question to you today is not where you stand on issues but rather how are you taking that stand? Are you allowing God who is slow to anger to show His steadfast love through you? Are you being a sign of the goodness of God as you fight for whatever it is? At the risk of offending you, have you asked God where He is at on the issue? Have you sought Him to see if this is the battle he wants you in? If you have, then I say go for it. If you haven’t asked Him, please do. So much more is at stake here, truthfully more than personal freedoms. How we represent God when we stand for a public issue has monumental effects. Are you allowing God to use you as a ‘token of good’? Or is it more about what you want? Are you allowing the steadfast love of God to influence your voice on the issue? Are you showing lovingkindness to those you are opposing?

Back to the Beth Moore quote. As you take your stand on your issue, what impact are you making in the spiritual realm? Are you regularly ‘wounding the enemy’? Or is he using you to wound others? My point in this blog isn’t that you stop fighting for what you feel is right. It’s that you do it as a believer who cares about the souls of those around you who don’t know Jesus, and that you are aware of the enemy’s schemes. You should be taking a stand for personal freedoms and injustice and school curriculum and all the other hot topics that are out there right now; but how you take that stand might be more important in the long run than what you are standing for. Matthew 16:26 says, “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole word, but forfeits his soul?” (TLV version).

There is a way to fight that honors God. You can take a stand and still be used as a ‘token for good.’ You can regularly wound the enemy (not your opposition but your true enemy the devil) and voice your opinion. If you yield your heart to the Lord on the matter and ask Him to use you, YOU will be a light in the darkness, and make an impact. As you fight for your issues ask yourself, “Am I being a sign for good? Who or what am I really wounding here?” Then in the words of 2 Timothy 4:7, go ‘fight the good fight, finish the race, keep your faith.” Be a lasting sign for good.

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