A Startling Look at Friendship

The topic of friendship has come up in at least 3 different areas in my life in one week.  When that tends to happen – that I can find a running theme in several areas of my life – I try to take notice, pray and then usually act because God is moving.  This week is no exception.  The running theme is friendship.  Now, this might sound a little junior high-ish but God has really highlighted something in my life I need to change.

I am, for the most part, an introvert.  I like my time to do with what I like.  I feel uncomfortable in large crowds, and, well, I struggle with friendships.  So this hits home for me.  I have a very close friend who lives out of state, and then I have a whole bunch of arms-length friendships that are more like acquaintances than true friends.  I have blamed that on being busy, being in ministry, being a mom – three busy teens! But the truth is, it is easier to keep busy than to open up and be vulnerable with someone. This, however, is not good.  Not good at all.

God speaks to me at the weirdest times.  While I am in the middle of making dinner I felt him ask why I don’t have deep friendships?  Uh, because as you can clearly see, I am busy God.  Then in my bible study reading, He takes me to the story of the Good Samaritan; then to the story of Mary and Martha; and lastly to the man who got lowered through the roof to have Jesus pray for him.

What do all 3 stories have to do with each other?   Busy people and people in need. The first one – the Good Samaritan. There is a man who is in need of help. He’s beaten and left alone.  The Priest crosses the road as to not walk right by but pass by at a distance. The Levite does the same.  The Samaritan is the one who stops.  I doubt in the bible times people went on walks for exercise sake.  Each one of these people had somewhere they were coming from and going to.  They had plans for the day – things they needed to do, people they needed to meet with, and so the list goes on.  Sounds like us.  We all have places to be, people to meet with, activities to accomplish all day long.  But are we all so busy we can’t stop and help the person right in front of us who is in need? Do we really live lives so full that something can’t be bumped back ½ an hour to call that person who needs encouragement rather than send a text which we don’t even have time to type so we instead send a voice to text message?

What about Mary and Martha.  Are we so concerned with how our house looks that we never invite anyone over because we don’t have the time to make it look perfect (which by the way no one expects or even notices)?  Or are we so consumed by our time with Jesus we won’t make time to pray or bring our neighbors into the presences of Jesus with us?

Lastly, the man who is paralyzed.  His friends! Wow, those guys were devoted friends.  I find myself, if I am honest, longing for this type of friendship.  For devoted friends who will stop at nothing to see me become all that God has for me. Friends who will help me, pray with me, and lead me straight Jesus, regardless of obstacles in the way. I mean they had a literal roof in their way! What do I have – maybe a dirty house or a bible study where I have only gotten to day 3 out of 5?

I want to be that kind of friend and I want friends like that.  So when God asked why I don’t have deep friendships, the answer is because I don’t take the time. I don’t acknowledge the need for others. I don’t want to risk being open and honest with ladies and not have it returned.  Then one by one, God reminded me of people in my life who I know need a friend right now.  Someone they can count on; someone who needs a Samaritan to help in a practical way; someone who needs a Mary to pray for them and a friend who will rip the roof off to help them get to the feet of Jesus.

So I decided to take the bold act of inviting a group of people who don’t really know each other yet (but all know me and all love Jesus) to get together once a month at my house.  I know that realistically not all of them will make it every time.  But I am offering my home and my friendship with a gentle reminder that they, too, need friends.  They, too, need a Samaritan and to be a Samaritan to someone else.  They need a Mary to pray for them, and they need to be a Mary and pray for someone else.  They need friends who want to see them healed and made whole at the feet of Jesus, and they need to be the one who brings others to those same feet.

So I ask you – how are you being the Samaritan, a Mary, and the friends who bring their hurting friend to Jesus in your life?  Who is doing those things for you?

Friendships are risky.  They do take time. But we are called to live in community not isolation.  We are called to carry one another’s burdens.  We are told to pray for one another, encourage one another, to spur one another to good deeds.

Yes, friendships are hard but needed.  Yes, life is busy, but it should never be so busy that we fail to make time for others. Find some small way to make an effort in the area of friendship and I bet you will be blessed more than you could imagine.

I’d love to hear how you do friendships in your life.  Leave a comment and pass on your tips for keeping, making time for, and building new friendships.